Planning Considerations for Parents of Disabled Children

Vested Partners A Multi-Family Office Blog

mother son with disabled son
Parents of disabled children need to make special plans for what happens when the parents can no longer be caregivers.

Recently we advised the sister of a disabled person who lived his entire life with his mother. His mother has now passed away, raising all kinds of issues about how the disabled son will be taken care of. The issues include where he will live, because he is not able to live on his own; and how will he afford to live because his income is less than $1,000 per month, and his mother’s income is gone.  Further, the sister is the only close family member, and she now is facing the fact that she bears the burden of figuring out what to do. We typically assist clients in this situation at least a couple of times a year, and it is difficult.

Parents of disabled or mentally ill children have unique challenges when planning for the possibility of their incapacity and the eventuality of their death. We help parents navigate this difficult planning process.  These are some of the questions we ask to get to the bottom of what kinds of plans need to be made.

  • Does your child need a guardian? If the child is not capable of making safe decisions about their daily life such as where they live and what medical treatments to seek out, you should petition for guardianship when your child is 18 years old. If parents have not established guardianship for an incapacitated child, problems invariably arise after the death of the parents, often leaving the child’s siblings with the burden of going to court to seek guardianship. Filing for guardianship in Virginia requires the assistance of an attorney through a process in the Circuit Court.
  • Is your child entitled to government benefits? If your child is disabled under the Social Security Administration rules, they may be eligible for Supplemental Security Income, which provides income for disabled persons who meet certain financial requirements. If your child is entitled to SSI or certain Medicaid coverages, you will need to make sure you do not leave your child with an inheritance that will disqualify the child from receiving their benefits. This is typically done by using a Special Needs Trust. One of the biggest mistakes we see is a parents’ failure to plan for a disabled child’s inheritance.  This failure to plan leads to family scrambling after a parent’s death and often requires the intervention of the Circuit Court in Virginia to protect the child’s inheritance.
  • Who is the proper person to manage the child’s assets when you are gone? Picking the right trustee is often one of the most difficult decisions you make. Sometimes parents don’t want to burden their other children with this job. There are corporate trustees in Virginia which exist just to manage the funds of disabled persons, and they know how to do it in a way that does not mess up the child’s eligibility for benefits. Further, if your child has assets of their own (including an inheritance from you that has not been placed in trust), they will likely need a conservator. In Virginia, having a conservator appointed requires an attorney to help you file a petition in the Circuit Court.
  • Where will you child live when you pass away? If your child lives with you, making a plan for what happens when you pass will make an easier transition for your child possible. Investigating alternate living arrangements and discussing this matter with your other children is crucial to avoiding a crisis when you pass away.

Planning ahead is crucial to prepare your disabled child and your other children for that time when you are no longer there to provide a guiding hand.

Client Success Stories

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Amy Meacham
May 5, 2026.
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Very professional and knowledgeable.
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Hunter Wimmer
March 27, 2026.
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[Financial folks have commented on how comprehensive and succinct my mom's estate package was. Her estate was settled in less than 4 months after her death] ... Robyn and her crew made this process incredibly easy. The documentation they drew up (will, trust, POA, and AMD) was very easy to understand as a layperson and very easy to execute — especially the will part (tip: have one person be the executor and trustee – and have them handle all of the personal effects/cars/jewelry. Robyn will explain). They were also available "after the sale" to help me through the process of settling the estate with very actionable and practical advice that saved me heartache and headache. They have a no-nonsense and very "real" way of constructing language that is clear and purposeful without the bloviated lawyer tone. On the flip side, my father in Florida paid half as much but I've had to pay other lawyers 20X as much to sort through the mess he left... and they can turn 12 words into 250 and charge you double for each vowel. Do it right the first time, because you don't get a do-over with this stuff. If you're looking for a comprehensive, simple, supportive estate-package, Robyn is the person to turn to. If you hate your kids and want to inflict pain after your death, prompting your kids to burn photos of you, I've got a guy in Vero Beach, FL you can call (rhymes with "dawn").
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Ann Hawley
February 19, 2026.
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Having been unaccustomed to working with attorneys, I was a little apprehensive on my first meeting with Robyn Smith Ellis and her staff. They all made me very comfortable and at ease. Robyn was quick to understand the reason for my visit, and did some research we both could see on her big screen. She would need to obtain some information from the Courts before we meet again. I also needed to set up my will, POA and other estate papers. These were ready to peruse, make any necessary updates and sign at my next visit, along with the main reason for my initial visit. I would recommend Robyn Smith Ellis and her competent team for any need you may have, Elder law, family or business.
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Jeff Martin
February 6, 2026.
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I am very thankful to Vested Partners for helping me process my will. They were very kind and easy to work with! I would recommend them to anyone.
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Cris Flippen
October 17, 2025.
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My husband and I are very pleased with the services received from Robin Ellis and Vested Partners. Everything was very clear and all of our questions were answered in a personal and professional manner. We have a peace of mind that our adult children and grandchildren will have minimal issues settling our estate after our departures.
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LISA K. Taylor
August 29, 2025.
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Robyn and her team at Vested Partners did an excellent job for us. We enjoyed working with them and would highly recommend her.
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Melissa Howell
April 17, 2025.
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Robyn has been incredibly helpful in helping me deal with my wife’s estate. She helped me figure out whether or not to sue the hospital, and provided essential information that not only eased my anxiety, but helped me financially. I am very grateful to her and her firm. M. Howell
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Terri Hancock
April 1, 2025.
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Robyn Ellis is a nice person to work with.She was very informative and she answered all of our questions and took time with us to do that. I definitely would recommend her.
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Sue Seaman
February 20, 2025.
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Vested Partners was recommended to us by our daughter, We had no idea how to begin planning for our future, Robyn provided expert advice to help us decide what was best for our family. She and her staff were professional and worked to put our plan together in a timely manner and at a reasonable cost. Thank you for your support! The Seaman's

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