My mother told me the days are long and the years are short. One moment you’re changing diapers and kissing scraped knees, and the next—well, the next you’re sitting at your desk, updating your own will, and you realize something startling: you don’t need to name a guardian for minor children anymore.
Just this month, my youngest child turned 18. For a quarter century, I’ve been the parent of at least one minor child. And now, suddenly, I’m not.
It hit me when I reached that familiar section of my will—the guardian designation. My cursor hovered over the names I’d carefully chosen years ago, and I thought, “I don’t need this anymore.” It was one of those moments that’s both happy and sad, wrapped up in a strange mix of pride and nostalgia. Before you know it, they’re grown.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy. My kids are launching into adulthood (for the most part!), finding their paths, becoming the people they’re meant to be. And selfishly, I’m rediscovering freedoms I’d almost forgotten existed. Spontaneous weekend trips? Sure. A quiet Saturday morning in the garden? Absolutely. The house stays cleaner longer, and I don’t have to coordinate schedules around soccer practice or parent-teacher conferences.
But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss those chaotic dinners, the endless questions, even some of the teenage drama. Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday I was reading bedtime stories and calling out spelling words. Now they’re the ones giving me tech support and teaching me things.
This experience has reinforced something I tell my clients every day: review your estate planning documents every three to five years. Life doesn’t change all at once – it happens gradually, in small moments we barely notice until suddenly everything is different.
When I last updated my will, my kids were minors. That guardian designation was the most important thing in my will. Now it’s obsolete. Other things have changed too—my financial situation, my assets, even my relationship with the people I’d named as executors and trustees.
It can be surprisingly easy to let estate planning documents gather dust. We create them during major life events—marriage, having children, buying a home—and then we file them away, assuming they’re “done.” But life doesn’t freeze in place. Kids grow up. Marriages evolve. Financial circumstances change. Relationships shift. The person you trusted implicitly ten years ago might not be the right choice today.
Here’s the truth: if you haven’t looked at your estate plan in five years or more, there’s a good chance something needs updating. Maybe, like me, your children have aged out of needing guardians. Maybe your financial situation has changed dramatically. Maybe the family member you named as executor has moved across the country—or you’ve simply realized they’re not the best fit.
Don’t wait for a crisis to review your documents. Time has a way of slipping by faster than we realize. Trust me—one day your kids are in elementary school, and the next you’re deleting guardian provisions from your will and wondering where the years went.
Call your estate planning attorney – and hopefully that’s me! Schedule that review. Your future self will thank you.
–Robyn
Legal and fiduciary services offered through Robyn Smith Ellis PLC. Investment advice offered through Ellis Financial Group LLC, a Registered Investment Advisor in the state of Virginia.Insurance products offered through Ellis Insurance Services LLC.
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