Write a Letter of Instruction for Loved Ones

Vested Partners A Multi-Family Office Blog

Writing a letter
Executors can use additional information in administering estates, especially if the executor is unrelated to the decedent.

Leaving a letter of intent or instruction can be a helpful resource for loved ones and executors, says the article “Planning Head: For detailed instructions consider a letter of instruction” from The Mercury. This is especially valuable, if the executor doesn’t know the decedent or their family members very well.

The letter of intent concerning an estate should also include information about wishes for a funeral or burial and contain everything from directions for the music list for a ceremony to the writing on the headstone.  In Virginia, you can leave a memo regarding what items of tangible personal property (jewelry, heirlooms, etc.), and if you reference the memo in your will, it becomes part of your will.

There are special considerations for parents of disabled or minor children.  For disabled children, legal documents address specific issues and aren’t necessarily the right place to include personal information about the child or the parent’s desires for the child’s future. Estate plans need more information, especially for a minor child.

The goal is to create a document to make clear what the parents want for the child after they pass, whether that occurs early or late in the child’s life.

For a disabled child, the first questions to be addressed in the estate plan concern who will care for the child if the parent dies or becomes incapacitated, where will the child live and what funds will be available for their care. Once those matters are resolved, however, there are more questions about the child’s wants and needs.

The letter of intent can answer questions about the special information only a parent knows and is helpful in future decisions about their care and living situation.

Once the letter of intent is created, the next question is, where should you put it so it is secure and can be accessed when it is needed?

Don’t put it in a bank safe deposit box. This is a common error for estate planning documents as well. The executor may only access the contents of the safe deposit box after probate of the will has happened. This happens after the funeral, and sometimes long after the funeral. By then, it will be too late for any instructions.

The better solution is to keep all important documents including wills, financial power of attorney, health care powers, living wills, or health care directives, insurance forms, cemetery deeds, information for the family’s estate planning attorney, financial advisor, and CPA, etc., in one location known to the trusted person who will need access to the documents. That person will need a set of keys to the house. If they are kept in a fire and waterproof safe in the house; they will also need the keys to the safe.

If the parents move or move the documents, they’ll need to remember to tell the trusted person where these documents have moved., Otherwise, a lot of work will have been for naught.

Reference: The Mercury (Jan. 19, 2022) “Planning Head: For detailed instructions consider a letter of instruction”

 

Client Success Stories

Posted on Google
Amy Meacham
May 5, 2026.
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
Very professional and knowledgeable.
Posted on Google
Hunter Wimmer
March 27, 2026.
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
[Financial folks have commented on how comprehensive and succinct my mom's estate package was. Her estate was settled in less than 4 months after her death] ... Robyn and her crew made this process incredibly easy. The documentation they drew up (will, trust, POA, and AMD) was very easy to understand as a layperson and very easy to execute — especially the will part (tip: have one person be the executor and trustee – and have them handle all of the personal effects/cars/jewelry. Robyn will explain). They were also available "after the sale" to help me through the process of settling the estate with very actionable and practical advice that saved me heartache and headache. They have a no-nonsense and very "real" way of constructing language that is clear and purposeful without the bloviated lawyer tone. On the flip side, my father in Florida paid half as much but I've had to pay other lawyers 20X as much to sort through the mess he left... and they can turn 12 words into 250 and charge you double for each vowel. Do it right the first time, because you don't get a do-over with this stuff. If you're looking for a comprehensive, simple, supportive estate-package, Robyn is the person to turn to. If you hate your kids and want to inflict pain after your death, prompting your kids to burn photos of you, I've got a guy in Vero Beach, FL you can call (rhymes with "dawn").
Posted on Google
Ann Hawley
February 19, 2026.
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
Having been unaccustomed to working with attorneys, I was a little apprehensive on my first meeting with Robyn Smith Ellis and her staff. They all made me very comfortable and at ease. Robyn was quick to understand the reason for my visit, and did some research we both could see on her big screen. She would need to obtain some information from the Courts before we meet again. I also needed to set up my will, POA and other estate papers. These were ready to peruse, make any necessary updates and sign at my next visit, along with the main reason for my initial visit. I would recommend Robyn Smith Ellis and her competent team for any need you may have, Elder law, family or business.
Posted on Google
Jeff Martin
February 6, 2026.
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
I am very thankful to Vested Partners for helping me process my will. They were very kind and easy to work with! I would recommend them to anyone.
Posted on Google
Cris Flippen
October 17, 2025.
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
My husband and I are very pleased with the services received from Robin Ellis and Vested Partners. Everything was very clear and all of our questions were answered in a personal and professional manner. We have a peace of mind that our adult children and grandchildren will have minimal issues settling our estate after our departures.
Posted on Google
LISA K. Taylor
August 29, 2025.
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
Robyn and her team at Vested Partners did an excellent job for us. We enjoyed working with them and would highly recommend her.
Posted on Google
Melissa Howell
April 17, 2025.
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
Robyn has been incredibly helpful in helping me deal with my wife’s estate. She helped me figure out whether or not to sue the hospital, and provided essential information that not only eased my anxiety, but helped me financially. I am very grateful to her and her firm. M. Howell
Posted on Google
Terri Hancock
April 1, 2025.
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
Robyn Ellis is a nice person to work with.She was very informative and she answered all of our questions and took time with us to do that. I definitely would recommend her.
Posted on Google
Sue Seaman
February 20, 2025.
Google star 1Google star 2Google star 3Google star 4Google star 5
Vested Partners was recommended to us by our daughter, We had no idea how to begin planning for our future, Robyn provided expert advice to help us decide what was best for our family. She and her staff were professional and worked to put our plan together in a timely manner and at a reasonable cost. Thank you for your support! The Seaman's

Join Our eNewsletter